Sparkling remarks from beside the rink

As it is the season, a lot of people do ice skating, and I enjoy it a lot. I am no gold medal winner, but my skills are solid. Nevertheless, there are those jerks beside the rink who actually think they can shout silly remarks at those skating. Here are my favourite two and my answers:

1. Don’t fall down!! My answer: I suppose you would fall on your butt with the first toe touching the ice. You would then be happy to have some proficient skater to save you and get you back to where you belong
2.  That was nothin. I can do a lot better… My answer: Sure…come to the ice and show me your toe loop and your double axel. And keep your mouth shut

Such nerds cannot only be found near the skating rink but also in other areas of life, such as school, work etc. Most of them will learn from one or the other downfall and then see that it is better to learn from others and themselves…